Sunday, November 29, 2015

Good timez in Portlandtown


1) befriended an excon in the mensroom. I covered the prison he served time at during my first FT permanent newspaper job. We bonded over that. He slapped his favorite stripper's ass and said: 'it's sweet and buttery. Everybody loves sweet and buttery.'

2) 'I hate this floor. It's gross.' - Sunshine, who deepthroated a bottle of MGD. That may be part of the reason for her missing teeth. 

3) Sunshine's Rough Friend, as she became known to us, is a 17-year vet of Portland strip clubs, and said she used to have double Ds, until her three-year drug diet of smack and meth. Speaking of threes, she said she has had three kids. She clarified that Kate and I are just friends, and then groped Kate again and again. Straight up, just squeezed Kate's boobs for a few minutes. 

4) Kate purchased a lap dance for me with the least enthusiastic stripper in the place. Her 'pole dance' was pulling her granny pants halfway down and rocking back and forth. As Trey Songz's 'slow motion' played, she basically lied on me. We shook hands when it was all over. 

5) i would go back. It was a very welcoming place.


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