Thursday, March 8, 2012

Hillbilly FOUR Loko

In which the author spares no opportunity to diss the Night Riders Union of Seattle's favorite (read: readily available) alcopop, here is a blog post about a DIY recipe for home made FOUR Loko.

Seems like it could work. It also seems like it would be a pain in the ass.

Quite less hassle is simply buying a FOUR Loko from the Kum & Go. While you are at the counter checking out the naked lady lighters and your broke ass comrades are piling up Snickers bars for you to buy, pick up a Four Five Hour Energy. At your earliest convenience, crack the can, sip the top off – or spill some on the curb for dead homies – and pour that motherfucker in. There. Fucking drink it, sucka.

Now, ride.

Also, Four Five Hour Energy comes in a variety of flavors, and can be matched to the FOUR Loko flavor of your choice, if you feel like you need to be a priss about something.

(Note: Fruit punch FOUR Loko is pretty tasty.)

Some don't like the sweet, mediciney flavor of alcopops, and that makes them publicly declare them unfit for human consumption and animal testing. Fair enough, some pricey single malts taste to me like they were made with the morning after remains of a campfire extinguished with beer piss.

Some brands and colors truly taste pretty bad – I'm not a fan of the Core El Jefe grape, personally – but just like anal sex, don't knock it until you try it.

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