Friday, July 8, 2011

I wrecked my back and can't ride

mine sucks

The quack said not to ride for two weeks. I almost cried.

The injury wasn't exactly biking related, or drunken biking related. Jeremiah and Mr. Q and I were hanging out at the scrap pile Saturday night, enjoying the view ( ... of the scrap pile) from atop the 8-foot steel wall. I had been drinking, among other things, and we were night riding, so draw your own conclusions.

While trying to scale down the wall I must have did something wrong –  those with back problems know, it's sometimes hard to tell what and why a back gets wrecked – because I felt an an uneasiness in the force, as it were.

The first sign usually is that I start walking funny, like I have a stick up my ass. But that's how I look most of the time, so I'm not sure anybody really notices but me. It felt a little stiff, a little sore, but, again, it always feels like that.

We continued the ride, southbound – talking shit to an overly sensitive security guard who shouldn’t jack off in his parked car if he doesn't want people to say he is jacking off in his parked car – but during the next stop, under a Tukwila bridge (Tukwila sucks), I leaned over to pick up my bag from the ground and that did it, my back about gave out.

Funny, though, I felt very little discomfort while riding. I was unable to ride no-handed, that kind of hurt, as I was basically sitting straight up on the saddle, but beside that no limits except for pain when mounting and dismounting. Kind of weird.

It's not as bad as it has been. I wasn't in bed for 10 days in the fetal position. Went to work, all that.

I saw a new chiropractor Tuesday, who told me I have the spine of a 55-year-old man. He said I will always have problems with my back. But what really hurt was the kibosh on riding.

He wanted to know how long I usually ride. Two hours is the standard, daily ride, although it's not as daily as it should be to be called 'daily.' He laughed. No riding, he said again.

I thought about saying 'fuck it.' if my back is going to suck, if one day I will be crippled permanently, I had better get my kicks. I didn't say 'fuck it,' although I have been swearing a lot. I'm thinking I'll miss next weekend too.

I wonder though, I'm not sure abstinence will help my back, but I'm sure it will help my gut.

The only thing that cheers me up is looking at this picture.


  1. Seriously, wouldn't that hurt your butt? A lot.

  2. i hope you're not perpetuating the whole, "all chiropractors are quacks" sentiment, as there are crappy representatives in every profession. with that said, if you want to see a stellar doctor that's worth your time and money, and happens to be one of my heroes, holla. sorry your back's giving you grief - it stinks to be physically limited doing the things you love. i hope you have a swift recovery!

  3. thanks! i wouldn't go to them if they didn't do any good, in fact i believe the reason this crisis didn't leave me crippled was because of regular visits to the chiro. rest assured, calling chiros quacks is in jest.