Sunday, February 7, 2010

The No. 1 Rated Alcopop - FOUR MaXed Grape

We shant waste your time, gentle reader, with charts and diagrams.

This review is most unscientific. However, the Night Riders Union's procedures have led us to a firm conclusion:

Whatever the intentions of the dark, unholy spring which gushes forth the rainbow of mediciney flavors of the FOUR alcopop line, it's dubious contributions to society and its ultimate effect on the young, any color of FOUR packs a motherfucking wallop.

You could do worse. Some flavors are not that great. Some are OK. Some are pretty bad.

However, FOUR MaXed grape flavor, the kind in the white can - important - is the best.

You might say, "Jeez, I'm sure it tastes great and everything, but the MaXed line of FOUR product serves up a measly 10 percent alcohol."

Our response: Think you'll miss 2 percent? Ten percent is quite a bit, homes.

Maybe it could be stiffer - granted, it's pretty stiff - but what makes this product shine brighter than the others, is the taste.

This stuff is delicious.

So take it from us. Next time you are stooped before the cold case at your local grocer's, wondering where to place your bet before hitting the road, pick this one. Remember, it comes in a white can, not a black can.

If you can't find grape, citrus will do. But make sure you buy the white can.


Night Riders Union of Seattle Safety Committee

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