Monday, October 12, 2009

Hate Not, Bitter Bicycle Person!



Already crowded is the field of bike blogs, and yet the selection leaves our thirst for knowledge of night riding unquenched. So then, welcome to this substrata, this exclusive forum, your questing has not been in vain. For it is, you have claimed here a blog that will suit all your non-sexual nocturnal desires.

Look forward to erratic posts on subjects such as:

Ridin' Dirty and Safety - How to ride drunk and stoned for long distances without wrecking or getting tagged by the po-po.

Gear - Reviews and opinions from cheapskates who refuse to wear spandex on how to stay warm and dry during those cold and wet winter nights.

Bike Porn - Members share nude photographs of their bicycles, providing prurient details about their beloved self-propelled conveyance machineries.

Maps - Members will post Bikely.com maps of their recent exploits and lie about how far they rode and how much they drank. 

Tips - Night riders submit tips on trails, roads, streets, trips, blunt rolling and what mini-marts sell which alcopops.

Various and Sundry Things - That we are forgetting right now but will come to us later tonight.

Stay tuned, and keep your whistle wet, dark days await us.

Sincerely,

Bobby Gentle
Secretary
Night Riders Union of Seattle
Seattle, Wash.
U.S.A.

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